what ever happened to romeo?

I knew this dude once and his name was romeo. He was a bit grumpy and loved his bananas. He, too ate his own poop. He also enjoyed paint and concrete. I dont think he liked me all that much. Although he acted as though he was just ignoring me, I had this sneaking suspicion that if I were to get in his grill, I would have been in a lot of trouble. The bathroom in that house was fun to play in. I would snicker when he would spin out on the crooked wood floor. Ah well, he was cool, but cooler now since he knows me, as most people are. Ooo, someone's getting another bowl of ice cream....

you looking at my gut?! Im working on it!

Ah, the autumn season has had its way with me apparently. I seemed to have gotten a bit slothlike. My new home is perfectly mapped out for that so I cant blame it all on my own lack of interest and/or motivation. Dad invited his friend that owns the little kid that runs after me all the time. I hid under the kitchen table but he's a small enough person that he was able to see under there. His dad only drank a bit of an expensive bottle of beer cause I saw dad pouring it out and mumbling something along the lines of what an idiot.

What's that you say?

You say Im great? I already know Im great. leave me alone. I miss my dad's old roomate who used to come home late, let me sneak in, and then leave his bread out on the table that I got to nibble on. Now all I get is cat food. The catnip tonight was fantastic. had a bit of a rosy floralness to compliment the dustiness of my favorite herb.
Now Im even greater and thats how I know Bjork annoys me.

I like my tralala

Yeah, so I like to look at myself. who doesnt every now and again. or all the time. At least I dont eat my own crap or other cats for that matter. I think some animals have issues. I just have to pee alot.

mortal pet what?!

So what I am hearing up here on the back streets of LCW is that there is some kind of pet combat/challenge going down. Well, I can pretty much assume why it was I wasnt invited. You see these eyes, these are the eyes that will make you loose sleep at night and make your girlfriend want to sleep with me instead of you. The are the eyes that have staired down bigger and lesser raccoons on my old front porch and chased them out with more of a whimper out of them than the "growl" that I was always told they put out.

I am now bored with cheap talk. Lets get it on.

-Steve

the bullshit bath

This is crap. I get hurt and then I guess I stank a bit and my dad shoved me in the bathtub. I found it oddly enticing. I normally just go in to get a drink but I found it refreshing to be under the full turent of warm water. He scrubbed me down REAL good then he wrapped a big towel around me and dried me, well, not so good. My foot still hurt for a while and he was weird, he kept trying to get his friends to sniff it. They always said no.