mortal pet what?!

So what I am hearing up here on the back streets of LCW is that there is some kind of pet combat/challenge going down. Well, I can pretty much assume why it was I wasnt invited. You see these eyes, these are the eyes that will make you loose sleep at night and make your girlfriend want to sleep with me instead of you. The are the eyes that have staired down bigger and lesser raccoons on my old front porch and chased them out with more of a whimper out of them than the "growl" that I was always told they put out.

I am now bored with cheap talk. Lets get it on.

-Steve