papa's lazy I think

Geez, anymore he is home all the time! I cant seem to get a moment to myself or have enough time to take a worthwhile nap. And now that he knows I like to sleep on the water heater, I have less privacy. And Im back on the dry stuff. When he used to be home in the morning, he would just get up and go and half the time forget my food. Now he gets up and just chills out and drinks his coffee, has a pastry or muffin. Yes, I think he is lazy. I hope he snaps out of it soon. I need my Steve time.

I am the softest cat in the whole world

That's right! I am indeed the softest cat in the entire world. Many debate but all are wrong. Test after test prove it and much like a drug test, they are fail proof. I was just thinking of this a while back and thought I might as well prove it. I got brushed out the other day and I could barely keep me off myself. Very nice, very nice.

holy cat!!!

Man, I dont think I could get this big even if I keep eating this tuna I get fed. Damn its good but shit, its just too rich. I think it makes me lethargic too. Plus I get gas. Lots of cool boxes in the house now, Im not sure what they're for but I like chewing on them and hiding in them.

diets suck

I dont like being forced into a diet. I am suddenly being given less than I was a while ago and its pissing me off. Im not fat, I may be relatively big boned but not fat. Just cause papa has food problems doesnt mean I should pay for his own lack of self control. And if anyone out there cares, Im out of catnip.

whoops...

Papa likes his bourbon and I tried to go head to head with him and I only got 1 lick before it kicked in, I got drunk, fell in the toilet, and had a hangover. It was the worst 15 minutes of my life to this point.